The Box

by scribblemoose

Gojyo had first noticed the box one night a month or so back, when he'd sat on the bed and watched Hakkai unpack his suitcase. Gojyo was still sore from the beating he'd suffered on Banri's behalf, and Hakkai was still sore from... well, Hakkai was just sore. With the cold-shoulder he was giving Gojyo a person might think Hakkai hadn't really wanted to save him after all.

But save him he had. And Gojyo was still dealing with that concept, which is how come he was sitting quietly on his bed, can of beer in one hand, cigarette in the other, watching Hakkai unpack, while feelings he was trying not to name clustered in his chest.

Man, he was going to have to clean his act up this time.

Hakkai didn't have much in the way of possessions. Most of the contents of his small suitcase consisted of neatly-folded clothes, a few books, soap and such. So the box seemed somewhat out of place. It was small, about the size of a cigarette pack, and it had a tiny catch on the front. No lock. It was covered in black leather, with odd patterns etched into it.

Gojyo wasn't normally curious about people's possessions, and Hakkai was a private sort of man, needed his space and all, so Gojyo didn't ask about it. Especially with Hakkai not really talking to him as
such. Then Hakkai sat down beside him with a heavy sigh, and gave him a Look, and Gojyo swallowed hard, wondering exactly where he stood, because before Banri they had been kinda... but then Banri... and really, he didn't deserve... and anyway....

... and then Hakkai had sort of sighed "oh, Gojyo," like he was exasperated, but there was something else in his eyes, a spark of something, and Gojyo was still trying to work it out when Hakkai's mouth closed over his own, and Hakkai's arm slid around Gojyo's shoulders.

Which made it possible, just, that the thing in Hakkai's eyes might have been... well, yes. Perhaps.

Gojyo's attention then was all on Hakkai himself, on finding the bedside table with stumbling hands so he could rid himself of can and cigarette and render Hakkai naked. To feel his skin. To choke back the guilt and admit to himself, at last, that this was what he wanted. Hakkai. Sex, cooking, cleaning, routine, trust, the whole huge, scary, impossible mess of it.

He had no idea what was in it for Hakkai, but at that moment he really didn't care.

Gojyo forgot about the box completely until two weeks later, when he came back from the bar to find Hakkai sitting at the table with the thing in front of him. He was staring at it. He didn't look up when Gojyo came in, he just stared, one fingertip tracing the edge of the leather lid, an edge at a time. A shiver ran down Gojyo's spine. On the one hand he wanted very much to know what was in that box, and what exactly it meant to Hakkai, that he should sit there staring at it like that. On the other hand, Hakkai's secrets were his own, and besides, Gojyo didn't like the look of that stare one bit.

"Good evening Gojyo," said Hakkai, without looking up, and Gojyo all but jumped out of his skin.

"Man, but you're creepy sometimes," Gojyo said. "I brought take-out."

He put his armful of paper bags on the table, enjoying the tutting noise Hakkai gave him in return, far more than he really should have. Hakkai bustled over to the kitchen to fetch plates and cutlery, muttering about stains on wood and how hard they were to get out. Gojyo shrugged out of his jacket and smiled to himself. Nagging-Hakkai was so much better than Creepy-Hakkai, after all.

As Gojyo sat down at the table, he realised that Hakkai had left the box behind. His fingers stretched towards it, almost of their own accord.

What could be inside? What would Hakkai hide like that and all but fucking meditate over?

"Gojyo!" Hakkai snapped, making Gojyo jump again. Gojyo snatched his fingers back and busied them with his lighter. "Didn't you hear what I said?"

"About what?" said Gojyo innocently.

"Cloth," said Hakkai, exasperated, resting the plates on the table. Gojyo looked up apologetically, then watched as Hakkai retrieved a table cloth from the chest of drawers by the door.

"Hey, Man, what's in the box?" he asked, as casually as he could.

"What? Nothing." And Hakkai plucked the box from the table and tucked it in his pocket, quick as a flash.

"But-"

"Clear the table, Gojyo," said Hakkai, impatiently. Gojyo opened his mouth, about to point out that he'd eaten take-out food without aid of plates or tablecloth (or table, for that matter) for pretty much his whole life, and was still alive to tell the tale, but one look at Hakkai's face swiftly changed his mind.

After that, the box worried Gojyo more and more. He didn't like mysteries. No, that was a lie, because Hakkai was one huge mystery from start to finish, and... well, never mind. He wanted to know what was in the box, that was all. And Hakkai most definitely wasn't telling. He kept it tucked away in his drawer and Gojyo didn't catch him staring at it again.

Maybe it was magic. Maybe it was some weird device Sanzo had given him. Or maybe it was to do with Kanan.

That thought, more than any others, lingered in Gojyo's mind and bugged him. So much so that it was possible that he was jealous. However, jealousy wasn't something Gojyo was overly familiar with, except when the girls got a little over-eager and he was on the receiving end. So no, probably not that, exactly. More that Hakkai had feelings for Kanan that made him seem far away and dangerous, and although Gojyo was certain Hakkai wouldn't do anything rash, not now, he knew that Hakkai wasn't so very sure at all.

A few days later, Gojyo found himself alone with the box, the object of all this curiosity. Hakkai was out shopping when Gojyo woke up. He'd showered and was looking for a fresh pack of cigarettes when he noticed the box sitting there on the table next to Hakkai's book.

Kanan. It had to be Kanan. Why else would Hakkai want to hide it from him? Why else would it make him so upset and dangerous?

Gojyo wouldn't look. Hakkai's buisness was his own, and that was that. They got very little privacy living on top of each other like this. So Hakkai had a pet box he liked to scowl at from time to time, that may or may not be some legacy from his ex-lover. So what? Gojyo had an entire cupboard full of porn that Hakkai discretely never mentioned. It didn't matter.

So if Hakkai hadn't brought it up himself, Gojyo would probably never have found out.

It was a week or so later, and Hakkai had him pinned naked to the bed. With one hand, just one hand. Gojyo was thinking perhaps he should work out more, when Hakkai's mouth closed over the head of his cock, and then all he could think about was fucking, and heat, and wet, oh God, Hakkai's mouth was always so fucking, fucking wet, and sliding over Gojyo's skin like silk. Firm silk. Silk that was wrapped around his cock and squeezed and oh, fuck.

"Take your time, Gojyo," Hakkai murmured at Gojyo's balls. Taking a moment to breathe and kiss Gojyo's tortured flesh, fingertips pressing into Gojyo's thigh. "We've got all night."

Well, that was all very easy for Hakkai to say. Hakkai was clothed and not letting Gojyo touch him, and pretty much completely in control. He wasn't under continual assault from that expert tongue and that fucking hot, wet, fucking, mouth, and...

All of this translated to "guh," which was all Gojyo managed to say before he came, hard and messy, all over Hakkai's face.

That wasn't when Hakkai talked about the box, however.

It was a little later, after Hakkai had let Gojyo go, and had wiped his face off with a towel. Gojyo felt playful. He'd launched himself at Hakkai, grabbing the towel and making to tie Hakkai's wrists with it, pin him back against the bed and then, fuck, but Gojyo would show him just who's turn it was, and Hakkai was laughing, relaxed and decidedly off guard, when everything changed. A shudder ran through Hakkai from head to foot, and he growled, a deep, unearthly growl that was nothing like an animal, and struck fear into Gojyo for an instant before he managed to assure himself he wasn't about to die.

"Limiter," said Hakkai, reaching for his ear, and his hand was shaking.

Two. He only had two cuffs left. Gojyo must have knocked one off, somehow, as they wrestled.

"Shit," Gojyo rummaged through the blankets while Hakkai shook.

"By the bed," said Hakkai eventually, "black box."

And that was how Gojyo found out what was in the box. He opened the lid not with slow curiosity but impatient need, and inside he found a dozen, no, more, two dozen little silver earcuffs.

"Why so many?" Gojyo asked later, when Hakkai was lying (unusually) curled up with his head on Gojyo's shoulder. Gojyo permitted himself to play with Hakkai's hair.

"You know what I turn into," said Hakkai. "I can't let that happen."

"Why? Is it so bad? Banri and the others, they manage without theirs."

Hakkai's eyes closed; he took a deep breath, sighed it out.

Gojyo paused, hesitated for a moment and then: "You really hate yourself that much?"

Hakkai scrubbed his head on Gojyo's shoulder in a nod, and Gojyo's fingers tightened just a little in his hair.

"That's bad," said Gojyo.

Hakkai said nothing.

~owari~