Wayside: Lessons

by scribblemoose

It was hot, hot enough that Gojyo was wearing only a pair of cut-off jeans, and he was still hot. And bored. Very bored. It was too hot, and too quiet.

"I'm worried, Hakkai."

"Mmm?"

"Really worried."

Hakkai looked up from his cards, with the faintest hint of irritation, hidden under a smile so broad that most people wouldn't even notice it. "Why, Gojyo?"

"I think Goku's been replaced by some kind of pod person."

They both looked over to the corner where Goku was bent over a book, tracing the words with his finger.

"He looks perfectly well to me," said Hakkai. "Quite studious."

"Exactly. When did Goku ever look fucking studious? Stupid monkey."

Goku raised his head to glower at Gojyo, but that was all. Before Gojyo could even think of the next insult to offer, he'd gone back to his book.

"What'cha reading, anyway?"

Goku clasped the tome to his chest protectively. "None of your business, cockroach-head!"

That was more like it.

Gojyo made a grab for the book, Goku yelped and kicked at him, Gojyo went for a punch to his shoulder, and next he knew they were rolling around on the floor pummelling each other.

"Sanzo will be back soon," Hakkai observed, but neither of them took any notice.

"What is it, idiot stomach-on legs? What's so good that it's stopped you being your normal irritating self? Huh?"

Gojyo had managed to pin one of Goku's arms behind his back, but only because Goku was apparently more intent on keeping his book away from Gojyo than keeping his limbs unbroken.

"I know," yelled Gojyo in triumph. "It's that Harry Potter crap, isn't it! That's nothing to be ashamed of, Goku. Lots of people read it. Only some of them are brainless monkeys."

"Gojyo..." came Hakkai's voice.

"What?" Gojyo lost concentration for a minute, and Goku took full advantage, wriggling out of his grasp and making to run away. He would have made it, too, if he hadn't tripped over Gojyo's discarded boots. He went flying, and lost his grip on the book, tossing it unwittingly through the air for Gojyo to catch.

Goku stared in horror, sobbed one huge sob, and ran from the room.

Astounded, Gojyo turned over the book to solve his mystery. Had he found Sanzo's stash of erotic poetry, maybe? Or was there some more basic porn hidden between the pages?

"Oh," he said.

"I think Goku is a little embarassed," said Hakkai. "I expect you can understand that now."

"He's learning to read?" Gojyo shut the big-print book with a snap. "Goku can't read?"

"He was under a mountain for 500 years," said Hakkai. "And apparently Sanzo didn't have much luck teaching him. There was a lot of shouting, I understand. Goku came to me a few weeks ago, and asked. It was a really brave thing for him to do."

"Oh. Well, now I feel like a piece of shit," said Gojyo, getting to his feet. He tossed the book on the bed. He stretched. "I think I'll step out for a bit," he said.

"I expect Goku headed for the stables," said Hakkai. "It's quiet down there."

"Thanks," said Gojyo. "I might go that way myself. You know. Look at the horses and all."

Hakkai watched him go with his usual implacable smile.

* * * * * * *

Gojyo paused in the courtyard of the inn, holding a cigarette in one hand and a meat bun in the other, and tried to pull his thoughts together.

He couldn't believe he'd been so insensitive. Well, he could, he put his foot in it all the time, but still...

He took a deep breath, and pushed the stable door open. He didn't see Goku at first, just heard a sob. Quiet, hitching breath, the sort that came when the crying was mostly over and all that was left was the empty shell of pain.

"Hey, monkey. I brought you something."

Goku rubbed his face on his sleeve in a futile attempt to obliterate the snotty evidence of his crying, and glared at Gojyo. "I'm not hungry," he said. It might even have been true; he hardly seemed to notice the bun at all.

Gojyo shrugged, and produced a paper bag from the pocket of his cut-off jeans. He popped the bun inside and put it next to Goku on the pile of fresh hay he was sitting in.

"Can I tell you something?" he said, dropping his cigarette butt to the floor, taking care to stamp it out.

"Fuck off," said Goku, hugging his knees to his chest and resting his forehead on them. "You can take the piss all you like," his muffled voice continued. "I don't care."

"It's kind of a story, really," said Gojyo.

Goku grunted. Gojyo sat down beside him, wincing as the hay stabbed his bare legs and back.

"If it's a story about a monkey who couldn't read, don't bother, cockroach head."

"Nah, it's nothing like that. I don't know any clever stories that teach you anything. Sanzo's your man for that kind of thing. It was just, you know. A story."

Goku turned his head and blinked one huge amber eye at him.

"Only," said Gojyo, "you have to swear to never tell anybody. Right?"

Goku perked up a little. "Why?"

"Because, well, it's kind of embarrassing. And no-one knows, not even Hakkai."

Goku's eye filled with curiosity.

"So, d'you swear?"

Goku shrugged.

"Come on, you have to swear," said Gojyo. "I'm laying my pride on the line here, noodle-brain."

The curiosity burned brighter. "Okay," said Goku, a little too casually. "I swear. Pervert."

"Right." Gojyo offered Goku his little finger; Goku hooked his own around it to seal the promise.

He squirmed himself into the hay, took a deep breath and began, watching Goku through his curtain of crimson hair.

"It was when I was young. I forget exactly how young, but it was a while after I left home. I'd washed up in some town-"

"With your brother?"

"No. I hadn't seen Jien for years by then. I was on my own. I was getting by. I got an actual honest-to-goodness job for once, collecting glasses at an inn. And there was this girl."

Goku snorted. "I might have guessed, if it's a Gojyo story there has to be a girl. Perverted kappa."

Gojyo ignored that. "She was the landlord's daughter. Very, very beautiful." He cupped his hands and gave Goku a knowing look to convey just how that beauty had manifested itelf, and Goku gave away a leering grin. "I swear," said Gojyo. "Bigger than Yaone."

That got an outright dirty laugh. It occurred to Gojyo that it should have disturbed him how well he understood the adolescent mind. But it didn't.

"Anyway, she proved to be, as most women are, completely bowled over by the manly charms of Sha Gojyo."

Goku rolled his eyes.

"She told me to meet her after work, in the wood shed in the yard. I could hardly wait."

"You didn't get laid often then, either, huh?"

Gojyo glared at him. "Hey! I get laid all the time, thank you, it's just not with wo-"

Goku's oddly innocent eyes blinked at him, and Gojyo remembered his promise. "Women of that class," he finished hurriedly. "I mean... well, never mind that. Do you want to hear the end of the story or not, stupid monkey?"

"I could care less, kappa."

Gojyo took a deep breath and carried on regardless.

"I was very excited," he said. "Because she was so beautiful. And I hadn't met anyone that beautiful before. I went to the woodshed like she said, and before long we were making out, and it was all good. And then she asked me something."

He paused.

Goku reached for the paper bag, and started to nibble on the bun. "What?"

"This is the embarrassing part."

"So?" Goku asked, ruthlessly. "I promised, so you have to tell."

"She asked me if I wanted a blow job. And I panicked. I said no."

Goku's hand froze, bun halfway to his mouth.

"You know why?"

Goku slowly shook his head.

"I didn't know what one was. I thought maybe she meant... well, I didn't know what she meant. I got scared. And you know, when you get scared, things don't work quite as they-" One look at Goku's face reminded him that Goku didn't really understand the concept of scared. "Well, I couldn't do anything after that. It was bad. Very, very bad. I slunk back to my room, and left town that night, gave up that job I liked and everything, because I was too embarrassed to face her in the morning. I felt like shit for weeks, imagining the laugh she would have had with her friends at my expense."

"Gojyo?" There was a gleam in Goku's eye.

"Hm?"

"What is a blow job?"

Gojyo gaped at him, fighting rising panic. "Guh?"

Goku burst out laughing. "Gotcha, stupid kappa! As if I wouldn't know!" He gasped to catch his breath. "I'm not that stupid! Ha! You should've seen your face!" And he started laughing all over again.

"Ha ha," Gojyo said, as relief washed over him. "Very funny."

Goku clearly thought it was, rolling around in the hay with tears of laughter rolling down his face. Gojyo only managed to shut him up by grabbing for the forgotten bun. They tussled a bit until Goku won back the treat, and then Gojyo resumed his story.

"I was miserable for weeks. Even more miserable when I found out what I'd turned down. So after that," said Gojyo, picking bits of straw out of his hair, "I made it a rule to always ask questions. It's always better to know stuff, however hard it is to ask." He gave Goku a sidelong glance.

Goku chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then swallowed. "It depends who you ask," he said, and took another bite.

Gojyo smiled. "Hakkai's a great teacher," he said, softly.

There was a pause, a very long one, by Goku's standards, and then he said, so quiet that Gojyo could barely hear him. "Yes. He is."

Gojyo ruffled his hair, the way he hated it, and Goku scowled at him.

Then they wrestled in the hay until they scared the horses, and a single gunshot called them home.

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